Well my brother, scott will be running in the mardi gras marathon Sunday in New Orleans. he set a goal a little over a year ago to run a marathon. This will be his first attempt accomplishing this feat. Me and most of the rest of wife and kids will be going down to see him run.
I am proud of his seeing this goal to fruition. Good luck and God Bless!
Steve
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
reflections on the church song "you are mine"
The song "you are mine" is a beautiful song that is a favorite of most catholic parishioners. The songs lyrics are by David Haas who blends many biblical and theological ideas into a beautiful composition. I will share the lyrics and then give some of my thoughts on this song and what they mean to me personally.
I will come to you in the silence;
I will lift you from all your fear.
You will hear y voice,
I claim you as my choice, be still and know I am here.
I am hope for all who are hopeless,
I am eyes for all who long to see me.
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light. Come and rest in me.
Refrain
Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me, I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.
I am strength for all the despairing,
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame,
All the blind will see,
The lame will all run free, and all will know my name.
I am the word that leads all to freedom,
I am the peace the world cannot give.
I will call your name.
Embracing all your pain, stand up, now walk, and live!
This song is the first song sung at the first mass I attended during my illness and rehabilitation. I was actually still in the hospital, but Mary was able to sign me out for a couple of hours and bring me to mass. I remember that it was my first outing from the hospital in 2 and a half months. In fact I wanted her to hide me at home and not bring me back to the hospital, at first. More on that later. I was elated to be going somewhere else besides the physical therapy room at the hospital. The first place we went was to the Saturday Vigil mass at our home parish in Denton Texas. Immaculate Conception was our parish. So many of those parishioners had lifted me up in prayer and helped to support us during this time that I felt the need to be among them in some way. I also felt the need to see our parish priest do his thing on the altar.Mo signor King had been at my hospital almost daily and was a true support for Mary during this time, I wanted to see him and smile at him to show him my appreciation for what he had done for her.
The mass was awesome, truly bringing to life the sufferings and joys that go along with being a disciple of Jesus Christ. I felt more in tune at that mass than I had for the previous 3 or 4 years.
During that mass at communion the choir sand "you are mine". Now you gotta imagine me, sitting in a wheelchair with no voice to speak of. I was in a terrible state and couldn't figure out why I was ever sick and everything in the world was telling me that my life was never gonna be as good as it was before I got sick. And in the end, the world was right! Life has not been the same since my illness, it has been better! And it was this song that sort of brought me to the realization that it would. As I sat their in my wheelchair next to the front row I truly listened to the lyrics of the song; certain lines of the song hit my like body blows and snapped me into a better frame of mind. Lines such as "I will lift you from all your fear", " I am hoe for all who are hopeless", "do not be afraid I am with you", "I will bring you home", and the entire last 2 stanzas of the song all spoke to me in a really personal way. The meaning of this song was summed up for me in the last line of the song, God Embraces all my pain, and he wants me to stand up, walk, and live. All of these commissioning by Jesus were like commands for me to never give up in my efforts for rehabilitation. What an awesome message. I had just received Jesus in the Eucharist and now he was speaking to me in the most personal way that I can recall before or since my illness.
As I said earlier in this post I wanted Mary to hide me out at home and not bring me back to the hospital. After my experience at mass I thought differently about this. I still wanted to go home for a visit. I wanted to see the familiar sights of my house and the kids rooms and our refrigerator magnets! this visit was important for me, during this visit I realized that I didn't want to live in a wheelchair forever. I realized that I wanted to walk from room to room at our house. I wanted Mary to check me back into the hospital, so that I could get better and do what Jesus had just commanded me to do through the singing of the choir at mass. I went back to the hospital and was an ideal patient from that point on. I tried to do everything in my power to get better. I eventually did. It was like the healing of the paralytic in Luke's gospel where he commanded me to rise take my mat and walk. But I looked at everyday with that zeal and ambition. I was visited by St. Pio during my coma, however it was this moment that I started to take seriously the work that I had to do to walk again on my own. Well, not on my own, for I know that Jesus is walking every step with me even today, and I look forward to walking with Jesus for the rest of my life.
I will come to you in the silence;
I will lift you from all your fear.
You will hear y voice,
I claim you as my choice, be still and know I am here.
I am hope for all who are hopeless,
I am eyes for all who long to see me.
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light. Come and rest in me.
Refrain
Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me, I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.
I am strength for all the despairing,
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame,
All the blind will see,
The lame will all run free, and all will know my name.
I am the word that leads all to freedom,
I am the peace the world cannot give.
I will call your name.
Embracing all your pain, stand up, now walk, and live!
This song is the first song sung at the first mass I attended during my illness and rehabilitation. I was actually still in the hospital, but Mary was able to sign me out for a couple of hours and bring me to mass. I remember that it was my first outing from the hospital in 2 and a half months. In fact I wanted her to hide me at home and not bring me back to the hospital, at first. More on that later. I was elated to be going somewhere else besides the physical therapy room at the hospital. The first place we went was to the Saturday Vigil mass at our home parish in Denton Texas. Immaculate Conception was our parish. So many of those parishioners had lifted me up in prayer and helped to support us during this time that I felt the need to be among them in some way. I also felt the need to see our parish priest do his thing on the altar.Mo signor King had been at my hospital almost daily and was a true support for Mary during this time, I wanted to see him and smile at him to show him my appreciation for what he had done for her.
The mass was awesome, truly bringing to life the sufferings and joys that go along with being a disciple of Jesus Christ. I felt more in tune at that mass than I had for the previous 3 or 4 years.
During that mass at communion the choir sand "you are mine". Now you gotta imagine me, sitting in a wheelchair with no voice to speak of. I was in a terrible state and couldn't figure out why I was ever sick and everything in the world was telling me that my life was never gonna be as good as it was before I got sick. And in the end, the world was right! Life has not been the same since my illness, it has been better! And it was this song that sort of brought me to the realization that it would. As I sat their in my wheelchair next to the front row I truly listened to the lyrics of the song; certain lines of the song hit my like body blows and snapped me into a better frame of mind. Lines such as "I will lift you from all your fear", " I am hoe for all who are hopeless", "do not be afraid I am with you", "I will bring you home", and the entire last 2 stanzas of the song all spoke to me in a really personal way. The meaning of this song was summed up for me in the last line of the song, God Embraces all my pain, and he wants me to stand up, walk, and live. All of these commissioning by Jesus were like commands for me to never give up in my efforts for rehabilitation. What an awesome message. I had just received Jesus in the Eucharist and now he was speaking to me in the most personal way that I can recall before or since my illness.
As I said earlier in this post I wanted Mary to hide me out at home and not bring me back to the hospital. After my experience at mass I thought differently about this. I still wanted to go home for a visit. I wanted to see the familiar sights of my house and the kids rooms and our refrigerator magnets! this visit was important for me, during this visit I realized that I didn't want to live in a wheelchair forever. I realized that I wanted to walk from room to room at our house. I wanted Mary to check me back into the hospital, so that I could get better and do what Jesus had just commanded me to do through the singing of the choir at mass. I went back to the hospital and was an ideal patient from that point on. I tried to do everything in my power to get better. I eventually did. It was like the healing of the paralytic in Luke's gospel where he commanded me to rise take my mat and walk. But I looked at everyday with that zeal and ambition. I was visited by St. Pio during my coma, however it was this moment that I started to take seriously the work that I had to do to walk again on my own. Well, not on my own, for I know that Jesus is walking every step with me even today, and I look forward to walking with Jesus for the rest of my life.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
one more thing from me
I did't mention in my rant earlier this morning, but I am extremely proud to be living in a country that has a peaceful means of transmitting power from one president to the next!
Hodge Podge
Last week I gave the girls more school work than they could possibly finish. And in the end they did not finish it all. What I wanted to see was just how much could they do with constant supervision and support. I now feel as if I have a baseline of how they can perform under "normal" conditions. Now the goal is to realistically set the goal to increase their output while at the same time retaining the information that they have learned. With that being the case, the lesson plan for this week and next will be toned down a little bit. I think that I not only overloaded them, but in the end I overloaded myself. I truly had a very difficult time keeping up with the pace that I had them on. So, it's still a work in progress. I'll keep ya posted.
I titled this post "Hodge Podge" because that is what's going on in my head. It is a hodge podge of ideas and topics that are jumbling up my mind. Home school, marriage, morality, prayer, catechism(both personal and my teaching it to my kids as well as the 9th grade at church), Inauguration, MLK day.... All of this in my head is probably the cause of my huge headache. So, I will attempt to get some of it out.
Marriage news: This is not exactly a news flash but I love my wife! She is my compass and my thermometer. And she is good at being both of those and so much more.
Morality and the rest of my RSI classes: I am in the middle of my school year and am just starting to think of writing my final papers that are due in April. I pray that I not procrastinate as usual. I do have a smaller paper due in my morality class that is due in a few weeks, so I will get that done and then I can focus on these final papers. We do have a retreat this coming weekend where we will visit the St Josephs abbey and seminary college in Covington LA. I am looking forward to that one.
Inauguration and MLK day: I am at a point in my life and faith where I can appreciate the meaning behind Martin Luther King Jr day. It is not just a day off of school or work anymore. It is a celebration of a civil rights leader who was slain for speaking out. This reminds me of another great role model, Jesus. He confronted the Sanhedrin, pharisees, sagucees and pretty much anyone else who held some power and spoke up for the less fortunate, the anawim of the time. We all know how he was put to death.
Now, I would never say that MLK is on this same level, and I am fairly certain that he(mlk) would not want me to either. However Their lives and deaths do bare a similarity in that certain way.
All of this seems to culminate in the inauguration that will happen in a few hours from now of the nations first African-American President. I judge that I don't fully understand the significance of this historical moment in our country's history, mainly because I am white and didn't feel first hand the prejudice against people of color in this country. At least that is the lessons I have learned from all the media coverage this weekend. CBS, NBC, CNN, in fact every media outlet in the country has made this inauguration solely about race. I am not sure from the feel good pieces they have been running if the country is gonna really do well because of our new president. The fact that he is not white will be a big story for a couple of weeks, however I think that the substance of the presidency transcends the individual who is president, he still has to do the job, at least for 4 years, if he wants to get rehired. I heard this weekend on one of those feel good stories where someone equated the Obama election to a courtship. and that is how I like to think of it as well. It fits into the way that I see marriage. They said that the election was like the engagement, where thinking about the future is limitless and everything is fun and feels good. Everyone wants to see the engagement ring and pat your back and say congratulations. The inauguration is like the wedding day. The wedding is only 1 day, and the celebration is fun and there are always cheers and dancing... The tough part is the marriage. that is everyday after the wedding. And this is the true test that we all must either pass or fail. This is not easy, the engagement and wedding stages give us a sometimes false sense of confidence that marriage will be easy. We all know that it is not, especially those of us who have been married, whether it has failed or is still a work in progress.
So today's inauguration is like the wedding, everything will look good and impressive today. the tough part will start tomorrow. President Obama will take off the training wheels and pilot the ship as president. The future is bright and I pray that he will succeed and do a great job for our country. Just like I prayed for Bush, Clinton, Reagan, etc...I may not always agree with his plans, but he was elected by the country and now I just pray that he always has the best interest of our country in mind in all decisions and not just the best interest of any particular group or lobbyist firm.
I titled this post "Hodge Podge" because that is what's going on in my head. It is a hodge podge of ideas and topics that are jumbling up my mind. Home school, marriage, morality, prayer, catechism(both personal and my teaching it to my kids as well as the 9th grade at church), Inauguration, MLK day.... All of this in my head is probably the cause of my huge headache. So, I will attempt to get some of it out.
Marriage news: This is not exactly a news flash but I love my wife! She is my compass and my thermometer. And she is good at being both of those and so much more.
Morality and the rest of my RSI classes: I am in the middle of my school year and am just starting to think of writing my final papers that are due in April. I pray that I not procrastinate as usual. I do have a smaller paper due in my morality class that is due in a few weeks, so I will get that done and then I can focus on these final papers. We do have a retreat this coming weekend where we will visit the St Josephs abbey and seminary college in Covington LA. I am looking forward to that one.
Inauguration and MLK day: I am at a point in my life and faith where I can appreciate the meaning behind Martin Luther King Jr day. It is not just a day off of school or work anymore. It is a celebration of a civil rights leader who was slain for speaking out. This reminds me of another great role model, Jesus. He confronted the Sanhedrin, pharisees, sagucees and pretty much anyone else who held some power and spoke up for the less fortunate, the anawim of the time. We all know how he was put to death.
Now, I would never say that MLK is on this same level, and I am fairly certain that he(mlk) would not want me to either. However Their lives and deaths do bare a similarity in that certain way.
All of this seems to culminate in the inauguration that will happen in a few hours from now of the nations first African-American President. I judge that I don't fully understand the significance of this historical moment in our country's history, mainly because I am white and didn't feel first hand the prejudice against people of color in this country. At least that is the lessons I have learned from all the media coverage this weekend. CBS, NBC, CNN, in fact every media outlet in the country has made this inauguration solely about race. I am not sure from the feel good pieces they have been running if the country is gonna really do well because of our new president. The fact that he is not white will be a big story for a couple of weeks, however I think that the substance of the presidency transcends the individual who is president, he still has to do the job, at least for 4 years, if he wants to get rehired. I heard this weekend on one of those feel good stories where someone equated the Obama election to a courtship. and that is how I like to think of it as well. It fits into the way that I see marriage. They said that the election was like the engagement, where thinking about the future is limitless and everything is fun and feels good. Everyone wants to see the engagement ring and pat your back and say congratulations. The inauguration is like the wedding day. The wedding is only 1 day, and the celebration is fun and there are always cheers and dancing... The tough part is the marriage. that is everyday after the wedding. And this is the true test that we all must either pass or fail. This is not easy, the engagement and wedding stages give us a sometimes false sense of confidence that marriage will be easy. We all know that it is not, especially those of us who have been married, whether it has failed or is still a work in progress.
So today's inauguration is like the wedding, everything will look good and impressive today. the tough part will start tomorrow. President Obama will take off the training wheels and pilot the ship as president. The future is bright and I pray that he will succeed and do a great job for our country. Just like I prayed for Bush, Clinton, Reagan, etc...I may not always agree with his plans, but he was elected by the country and now I just pray that he always has the best interest of our country in mind in all decisions and not just the best interest of any particular group or lobbyist firm.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
a full slate
That's what this week will be, a full slate. I took extra time to get the girls lesson plans done and I loaded them down. I gave them more to do than will get done. I am trying to motivate them to overachieve. I am mean. At least that is what they tell me. But I am sure that one day they will thank me for pushing them for making them to do more than what they think they can do. I had several teachers in my life that motivated me to keep pushing and always reach for the top! I would list them, but I know that I would leave someone off. I would like to thank each of these teachers from junior high school and high school for giving me permission to be the best student and person that I could be. I have thanked a few of them in person when the chance has arisen.
Now back to my kids. They have had various life lessons about keeping your head above water, doing your best in all situations and beating the odds. I like to think that I have been a good role model for all of these things. Elizabeth and Emma are old enough to remember the time when I was sick, in a wheel chair and couldn't walk or talk. They have seen me at this point and they saw all of the hard work that I had to do to be the person I am today. They along with Mary saw all of the doubts, shame, and fear that I had to overcome from the state that illness had put me in. I am positive that the lessons I learned from my teachers and lessons that I learned in Church about the life of Jesus combined to give me the motivation to get out of my hospital bed and walk again.
This brings me to this week. I realized that I have to be the kind of home school teacher that instills this motivation to always do better. I pray that I can do this for them. I pray that all teachers, whether home school, public or private schools, guide and teach their students not only the subjects they teach but to give them a legacy for achievement that goes beyond the school book and shows them a good way to live their lives.
I am thankful for the teachers that have done this for me. Are you? And now, most of all, I want my kids, my students to look at me this way someday.
Now back to my kids. They have had various life lessons about keeping your head above water, doing your best in all situations and beating the odds. I like to think that I have been a good role model for all of these things. Elizabeth and Emma are old enough to remember the time when I was sick, in a wheel chair and couldn't walk or talk. They have seen me at this point and they saw all of the hard work that I had to do to be the person I am today. They along with Mary saw all of the doubts, shame, and fear that I had to overcome from the state that illness had put me in. I am positive that the lessons I learned from my teachers and lessons that I learned in Church about the life of Jesus combined to give me the motivation to get out of my hospital bed and walk again.
This brings me to this week. I realized that I have to be the kind of home school teacher that instills this motivation to always do better. I pray that I can do this for them. I pray that all teachers, whether home school, public or private schools, guide and teach their students not only the subjects they teach but to give them a legacy for achievement that goes beyond the school book and shows them a good way to live their lives.
I am thankful for the teachers that have done this for me. Are you? And now, most of all, I want my kids, my students to look at me this way someday.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
i was ineterviewed on a podcast
This will be short and sweet.
I was interviewed on a friends podcast. It is ready to download on your mp3 player or can be listened to online at www.theeverydaycatholic.com
in it we discuss home schooling and a visit I had from someone during my coma.
God Bless all of you,
Steve
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
back to school
Yesterday was our first day back to school for 2009. I did not have my lesson plans ready to go. So the morning was spent doing lesson plans while the kids awaited their new assignments. I got Emma and Elanis done and they got to work on them. It was promising and I started to feel really good about the new year. Then the afternoon came and we had to run an errand or two. That totally fouled up our school day. after leaving the house for about an hour and a half we got back home and you would have though the dismissal bell had rung. To be fair, Emma did do some more of her schoolwork last night, like it was homework, which we have not had since the public school days last year.
Today, the older girls have a 4H meeting, which usually means that I get very little production from the for school work. This will give me an opportunity to focus on Elani's schooling as she is not yet old enoug to officially be involed in 4H. She is making her first Reconciliation this Saturday. I am so proud that she is taking this sacrament so seriously. I am going to work with her today with the nuts andbolts of going to confession. We will discuss and do an examination of conscience and an act of contrition.
Today, the older girls have a 4H meeting, which usually means that I get very little production from the for school work. This will give me an opportunity to focus on Elani's schooling as she is not yet old enoug to officially be involed in 4H. She is making her first Reconciliation this Saturday. I am so proud that she is taking this sacrament so seriously. I am going to work with her today with the nuts andbolts of going to confession. We will discuss and do an examination of conscience and an act of contrition.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
why do i do what I do?
I want to blog about a few things, but it is almost midnight and I am exhausted. So, I will spare you all.
So far the New Years has been going OK, but we start back to school and routines tomorrow. I pray that it goes as smoothly and efficiently as the girls need it to go in order for this home schooling experience to be all it can be for them. I don't school them for my benefit. I truly think that this is more detremental to my personal psyche than working a full time job outside of the home. But I believe that this is a chance for the girls to learn values and life skills in a way they probably never could in a school with teachers who also have to interact with 100-200 other kids a day. I am in no way saying that teachers in school systems are harmful to kids. I wish these people could be some of the highest paid individuals in the world, they do the most important job in the world. They educate the vast majority of kids. So, if you are a teacher please know that you are appreciated.
with that being said. I wish i was a better home school teacher for the girls...
So far the New Years has been going OK, but we start back to school and routines tomorrow. I pray that it goes as smoothly and efficiently as the girls need it to go in order for this home schooling experience to be all it can be for them. I don't school them for my benefit. I truly think that this is more detremental to my personal psyche than working a full time job outside of the home. But I believe that this is a chance for the girls to learn values and life skills in a way they probably never could in a school with teachers who also have to interact with 100-200 other kids a day. I am in no way saying that teachers in school systems are harmful to kids. I wish these people could be some of the highest paid individuals in the world, they do the most important job in the world. They educate the vast majority of kids. So, if you are a teacher please know that you are appreciated.
with that being said. I wish i was a better home school teacher for the girls...
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Month??
It is New Years day 2009! The first day of a new year is always so optimistic. I have a whole year to do... something. Maybe we should celebrate every new month in the same way. I know that I would be much more productive with only 30 or 31 days to accomplish something, but February would be a tough cookie(28 days). Take your standard new years resolution. Lets say, hypothetically, that I wanted to lose 50 pounds this year... wait, this doesn't sound do hypothetical!! If I break that resolution into months of which there are 12, I would only resolve to lose 4.16 pounds a month, starting with month 1. If I didn't achieve the needed 4.16 pounds then the next month I could adjust my resolution or goal. Or if I overachieved and managed to lose say, about 8 pounds in the 1st month I would then only need to lose something like 2.5 pounds per month over the next 11 months.
Anyway, I don't wanna run on about this. Tomorrow we are going hiking as a family in Tunica Hills. As I recall the last time I did that my words as we reached our vehicle in the parking lot was something like " I will never do this again". well, never say never! I will stay positive about this. The last time I went it was in June and was 93 degrees and humid. Tomorrow should be 72 and not humid. It should be a pleasant time and good exercise. And it will be great to trudge around in Gods creation with the family.
Anyway, I don't wanna run on about this. Tomorrow we are going hiking as a family in Tunica Hills. As I recall the last time I did that my words as we reached our vehicle in the parking lot was something like " I will never do this again". well, never say never! I will stay positive about this. The last time I went it was in June and was 93 degrees and humid. Tomorrow should be 72 and not humid. It should be a pleasant time and good exercise. And it will be great to trudge around in Gods creation with the family.
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