My Half Marathon experience

It has been over 2 weeks since the race and I have not posted about the experience yet. I am not sure what is holding me back from it. At this point I will say that it was cold, freezing at the start of the race, it snowed in Baton Rouge just 8 hours before the start of the race. This made for a very anxious night and sleep before the race. I woke up the morning of the race to clear skies and just a few flakes on the ground... Decent running conditions. I was ready for the race, or so I thought.

On the way to the race we ran into some traffic on the interstate that threatened to make me late for the start. In fact, 15 minutes before the start of the race I was trapped on the Interstate and just knew that I would be starting after "the gun". At this point doubt began to creep into my mind. Thoughts that maybe I am not meant to run this race started creeping in. At this point all I could do was pray that I get to the start of the race in time. I didn't think that starting late would be good for my fragile psyche. As I finished praying that God would ease the traffic, it did ease and Mary got me to the start with about 4 minutes to spare. I ran into a few of my running buddies hit the portable restrooms and lined up for the start with what seemed to me to be thousands of others(it may have been about 1400 or so in actuality). And the race began. I never heard a horn or pistol. Everyone started running and so did I. That first mile went by quick as I was still in a crowd and the adrenaline seemed to get me through that mile with very little effort from me. I tried to take in the sights, sounds and any special things that may come up during the run. But in that first mile my only thought was to not get run over by anyone. It seemed like everyone started out at a faster pace than me. Miles 2 and 3 were tough for me because of the unrealized effort I must have used in the first mile. during mile 3 I came upon Scott, my brother and my mom and step-dad. It was awesome to see them in the distance and feel the support they were giving me. My brother told me to low down I was running too hard and wouldn't finish the race at the pace I was on. I was glad to have someone tell me that. So I did slow down. and actually mile 4-7 went really smooth. I saw Mary and our daughters at mile 4 and that was a great pick me up. My entire family had made posters to support my running and others who were running around me began cheering for me because of the support I had at the race. in fact, every once in a while i would hear a 'go Steve' cheer from the other racers. i did appreciate that. I saw the family again at mile 6 and then again at mile 7. At this point, well actually mile 8 I started to feel tired, my legs were tired. I was able to push on to mile 10 on tired legs. there was a water stop at mile 10 and this was the point where I seemed to hit a "wall". I saw the family for the last time until the finish line at this point. I was glad to see them because I knew the end was near. I was exhausted but knew that the next 3 miles were "in the bag", I knew I'd finish. I didn't know that these 3 miles would be so tough. I could not run the whole 3 miles. My legs just wouldn't do it. So I did, disappointingly, walk a bit. I was in survival mode and just wanted to finish this race by doing whatever it took to finish it. I ended up jogging for a few minutes and then walking for a couple of minutes and then jogging again. This is how I got through miles 10 and 11. When I got to the mile 12 marker and knew that I had only 1 mile to go I started to pick up my pace again. There was no doubt that I was going to finish this half marathon. I judge that I must have made good time from mile 12.0 to mile 12.5, and then was out of energy. I had to walk again. I probably walked for a quarter mile and could actually see the finish line in front of me. This motivated me to run again. At this point I could see a kid running the wrong way, towards me, on the course. As the kid got closer to me I could make out that it was my 8 year old daughter Elani running to meet me. I yelled out to her "are you gonna finish the race with me?" and the smile on her face was enough to make all the pain and exhaustion of the race I just ran worth it. When she caught up with me and we were both "sprinting" towards that finish line I had several thoughts that were in my mind. In what probably took 30-45 seconds I had enough memories cross my mind to take and hour to tell. One of those memories was of me using a walker and not being able to walk on my own for over 7 months of my life. I may end up sharing some of the other memories and thoughts in later postings.

My goal was to finish this race in under 3 hours. My official time was 3:11:02. I assume that if I hadn't walked so much between miles 10 and 12 that I would have been under that goal, but that is not the important thing. What is important to me is that I FINISHED!

I will post some of my post race thoughts and physical status at some other time. I will just say for now that the pain, anguish and doubt was all worth it. I may never break any speed records. But seeing a goal to completion is my reward.

Running to overcome - relating therapy to training

Most of you who know me are aware that I have started jogging. For me jogging and running are about the same speed so I use the words interchangeably. This form of exercise started for me in September 2009. The local YMCA started an outdoor running club that would train 3 days a week as a group and the other days we are to train alone or rest. The First night of the group we did 3 half mile repeats. That basically meant that we ran half a mile and then walked about a tenth of a mile then rested. All 3 stages of the repeat should have been of equal length. I thought I would die after the first 1/2 mile. I did jog the whole way for that 1/2 mile. But the other 2 half miles were a mixture of running and walking. In other words I was out of shape and had no clue how to make myself keep going in this world of running. As I drove home that night disappointed in my performance I started thinking of ways to overcome this difficulty I was having with running. The biggest obstacle I have overcome in this life was not being able to walk and talk after my illness in 2002. How did I overcome that? Why did I overcome that? Who helped me along the way? these are all questions that I asked myself when considering how I could use the experience of therapy and translating it to the experience of training. 

The year after my ruptured colon and subsequent inability to walk and talk were the toughest year of my life. I could not articulate myself the way that I wanted nor could I even move the way that I wanted. I was 30 years old and had to use a walker and then a cane to walk, my speech was generally not understandable at most times, my breathing was forced and unnatural. I was a mess. However, I always felt the need to get better, to try my hardest to get back to being a productive husband for Mary, father for the girls, son, friend and neighbor. I could do it.

Daily rehabilitation sessions at the hospital were my job back then. So, with the help of Mary and the therapists, doctors and nurses, who all have a special place in my heart, I was able to go into therapy with a POSITIVE attitude everyday. I'll never forget the day they let me try to walk without assistance in the therapy department. One of my prior therapists was there to drop off some paperwork and when she saw me walking on my own she began to cry. I was so proud of myself that I thought I could run at that time. Those tears were an inspiration to me. Still are today. 

Anyway, as I was disappointed in myself as I drove home after that first night of running club I remembered all of this and put in my mind  that I COULD and WILL accomplish this goal. The Ultimate goal of the club, at least in the short term is to run in a half marathon in December 2009. That's next month, actually like 2 weeks away. I am proud to say that I have jogged a distance of 7 miles at a time so far, and am scheduled to do a 10 mile run on Saturday morning. I have been told by several runners that doing the 3.1 after doing 10 is "easy".  

I will post whether I survive the 10 miles on Saturday and then my triumph on the half marathon.

(the above pictures of me are in the hospital in 2002 on Elani's 1st birthday and the 2nd is from October 2009 when I ran the Oktoberfest 3 mile race in Baton Rouge)

Oh when the Saints....

Normally with this title most who know me would wonder "is he talking football or religion?" Well I am actually pretty excited about both. To start off with, I have been a New Orleans Saints fan for my entire life and have been through some really down times as a Saints football fan. With that being said... The first 2 weeks of the NFL season have been awesome!!! I am starting to think that no one can stop the Saints offense and that the defense is doing what it needs to do and all of this will continue to go on for the whole season, which will end up in theSuperbowl in Miami. A Black and Gold Superbowl. I am aware that in the NFL it is very unrealistic to think that the Saints will go undefeated, but at this point a 12-4 record is not out of the question.

I am also very excited by the Lives of the Saints and what the religious Saints have done for us through Jesus Christ. I have been contemplating the stories and lives of the Saints based on the feast days of the Church and a saint of the day type book that I have. When I read a story about a saint who lived in the 1100's I have a very tough time relating that story to my life. However, when I can take words such as poverty, suffering, conversion, etc. I can relate those to things that I go through today. And the examples of these saints provides me with the strength and desire to make the most out of my situation. As most people who know me are aware of I have a special love and admiration of Saint Padre Pio. His feast day was yesterday 9/23. In reflecting on his suffering and how he turned that around for the good of others he did wonderful things, and continues to do them today. The following excerpt from Pope John Paul II is a peek into the life of Padre Pio.

At Padre Pio's canonization Mass in 2002, Pope John Paul II referred to that day's Gospel (Matthew 11:25-30) and said: “The Gospel image of 'yoke' evokes the many trials that the humble Capuchin of San Giovanni Rotondo endured. Today we contemplate in him how sweet is the 'yoke' of Christ and indeed how light the burden are whenever someone carries these with faithful love. The life and mission of Padre Pio testify that difficulties and sorrows, if accepted with love, transform themselves into a privileged journey of holiness, which opens the person toward a greater good, known only to the Lord.”

I truly believe that following the lives of the many Saints that the Catholic religion has canonized and learning to reverence and live for Jesus through them will help lead to the heavenly gates. I also believe that following the New Orleans Saints this year will lead me to the "heaven" of Superbowl Victory!! ( I do realize that a sports team winning an event is nowhere near the greatness that God willl give us in heaven, but maybe it will be a good appetizer)

Getting back into the routine

The summer is over and with that comes the return of home schooling schedules, swim team, soccer practices, youth group, dance classes and many other events. Starting a new routine that is packed with events everyday is proving to be quite difficult for me. I will manage it, I am not worried that I wont. I just know that it will take a week or so of the new routines to adjust. 

So far, the kids have been great about getting back in the schooling, granted this is only the 2nd day. 

As for me, I have a couple of new things going on. First, and most frustrating, the Religious Studies Institute classes that I have taken the last 2 years were cancelled for year 3 classes this academic year. This is a bummer because I had planned on completing this program this year. I am also coordinating the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults)program at church, which is going to be quite fulfilling, bringing others to Jesus and the fullness of our Catholic roots. The existing team is fantastic and have told me that I have their full support during my leadership of the program. Of Course our parish Priest is really in charge, but day to day I will hold the reigns on that program.

I have also started working part time at a local health/fitness establishment. This was born out of my participation this summer as a summer camp counselor. So, we'll see how this new job effects my schedule.

Memories of Michael and Farrah

2 icons of pop culture and my childhood have passed away. In my days of childhood in the late 1970's thru the mid eighties these 2 stars were the biggest. recently both have had troubles and sadness in their lives. I choose to remember both of them in their prime, as I saw it. Farrah as one of Charlie's Angels and Michael in his hey day of Thriller! 

I do not and will not start to think of myself as old, but it is sad to start seeing some of my childhood starting to pass away with different celebrities. 

there is so much to blog about that I can't seem to get my thoughts straight. And to make it worse I haven't blogged in about 6 weeks. That is long enough for alot of stuff to happen. our family had a 1st communion, a birthday, a dance recital and a Disney trip mixed in with several other events along the way. The great thing about the fact that we home school is that we can enjoy these events even more than I remember us enjoying them when I worked full time. This is a reason that I was reluctant at first to accept a job as a summer camp counselor this summer. It's only a few hours a day, so it shouldn't be all that bad... in fact, I think it will work out well. I will keep this blog posted.

what's the point of all of this suffering?

This time of the year is a time to repent and get ready for Easter( the most event in all of Christianity). As if this is not enough to think about I have encountered several situations this lent that include suffering and pain. It is in these times that I realize that I can either be a source of hope to others or a source of distraction. I choose to be a source of hope and inspiration. Jesus died for our salvation and all the pain and anguish He suffered, He suffered for us. I need to remember this as I see pain and suffering in the world. I need to remember that what we go through is not unlike the pain that our Lord and savior went through. Pain is temporary, in the scope of our existence on Earth. But that does not always make it easier to be in pain. We are earthly people who have the hope and ability to be with God in Heaven.
Fr. Stan Fortuna says it best in one of his songs, "Everybody got to suffer". I think that to truly be aligned with Jesus, we must go through a period of pain and suffering, then commit all of that to the glorification of God. (AMDG: Ad Majorem Dei Glorium)

It would be easy to just say that, but I remind you that I live that daily. Most of the readers of this blog know that 6 years ago, I suffered a ruptured colon, a 4 week coma, and 12 months of recovery, which included a 10 month stint in physical and neurological rehabilitation. I could not have made it through that time without the example that Jesus gave to us all. The story of His passion, death and most importantly Resurrection are available to anyone who has eyes or ears and wants to know it.
I say that the Resurrection is most important because that is the time that gives us hope as we suffer through our pain, whether it's physical, emotional or spiritual. One day, we too, will resurrect and feel no pain. That is the hope. Give God glory in all things, even our sufferings and pain, and God will give it back to us through Salvation.

I am praying for quite a few special intentions. Keep these names in your prayers, that Gods will be done in each of their lives as well as those of others you may know.

They are:
Peter
Daryl
Tommy
Sabrina
Phoebe
William
KC
Poppie
Scott
Joann
Jerry

Lord, hold them all tight to you and give them all piece through their sufferings,.

Amen

Lent

Well, lent has started. I would say that I have been dreading lent because I hate giving things up for lent. I don't consider myself to have many vices or obstacles keeping me from God. Maybe that is one obstacle, my pride not allowing me to admit that I do have obstacles. In years past it was an easier choice for me to pick things to give up for lent. I think the reason that it was easy for me was that I didn't understand why I was giving something up. Therefore, I just gave up stuff to be like everyone else, to at least be in line with my Catholic roots. I had no idea of the relationship of Jesus' suffering and aligning that with my own lenten sacrifice of giving up something that is a obstacle for my relationship with God. I must say that I do have a better understanding of that now, but still have trouble "giving up" what I can't admit is standing between me and God.

I listened to the things other people were giving up to get an idea of what I could do this lent. However, items such as sweets, diet sodas, alcohol, video games(my kids are trying that one) and smoking are just not obstacles that are in my way. I don't smoke or drink, so those are automatically out. I do understand that these may be legitimate sacrifices if you do these on a regular basis(addiction), and therefore are great things to give up.

This leads me to what I am giving up this lent. I am giving up meat, that is the flesh of "warm blooded" animals as per scribed by the Catholic Diocese of Baton Rouge. I read that in the church bulletin last week. Now, in my opinion the eating of meat does not impede my relationship with God. However, my wife has decided to abstain from meat the entire Lenten season, not just the mandated Ash Wednesday, Friday's and Good Friday, but everyday during lent. My thinking on this is that what does seem to be a stumbling block in my dealings with my God is my relationship with my wife. We have a great relationship, don't get me wrong. But we do not always see eye to eye on things. As we started to argue in a loving way about what she is giving up, it hit me that by not having our relationship in alignment is the main thing getting in my way of being closer to God. So, I decided to "give up" meat this lent to be in better union with Mary and consequently, God might smile upon my decision. And that would bring me closer to God.

I have not disclosed everything to you all. because like in the Gospel reading from the Ash Wednesday mass (Matthew 6), Jesus tell us to "pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you." Therefore, i will keep in secret any other Lenten dealings that I may have.

I pray and hope that everyone who reads this is doing something to increase their dealings with God.

Run Scott Run!

Well my brother, scott will be running in the mardi gras marathon Sunday in New Orleans. he set a goal a little over a year ago to run a marathon. This will be his first attempt accomplishing this feat. Me and most of the rest of wife and kids will be going down to see him run.

I am proud of his seeing this goal to fruition. Good luck and God Bless!

Steve

reflections on the church song "you are mine"

The song "you are mine" is a beautiful song that is a favorite of most catholic parishioners. The songs lyrics are by David Haas who blends many biblical and theological ideas into a beautiful composition. I will share the lyrics and then give some of my thoughts on this song and what they mean to me personally.

I will come to you in the silence;
I will lift you from all your fear.
You will hear y voice,
I claim you as my choice, be still and know I am here.

I am hope for all who are hopeless,
I am eyes for all who long to see me.
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light. Come and rest in me.

Refrain
Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me, I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

I am strength for all the despairing,
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame,
All the blind will see,
The lame will all run free, and all will know my name.

I am the word that leads all to freedom,
I am the peace the world cannot give.
I will call your name.
Embracing all your pain, stand up, now walk, and live!


This song is the first song sung at the first mass I attended during my illness and rehabilitation. I was actually still in the hospital, but Mary was able to sign me out for a couple of hours and bring me to mass. I remember that it was my first outing from the hospital in 2 and a half months. In fact I wanted her to hide me at home and not bring me back to the hospital, at first. More on that later. I was elated to be going somewhere else besides the physical therapy room at the hospital. The first place we went was to the Saturday Vigil mass at our home parish in Denton Texas. Immaculate Conception was our parish. So many of those parishioners had lifted me up in prayer and helped to support us during this time that I felt the need to be among them in some way. I also felt the need to see our parish priest do his thing on the altar.Mo signor King had been at my hospital almost daily and was a true support for Mary during this time, I wanted to see him and smile at him to show him my appreciation for what he had done for her.
The mass was awesome, truly bringing to life the sufferings and joys that go along with being a disciple of Jesus Christ. I felt more in tune at that mass than I had for the previous 3 or 4 years.
During that mass at communion the choir sand "you are mine". Now you gotta imagine me, sitting in a wheelchair with no voice to speak of. I was in a terrible state and couldn't figure out why I was ever sick and everything in the world was telling me that my life was never gonna be as good as it was before I got sick. And in the end, the world was right! Life has not been the same since my illness, it has been better! And it was this song that sort of brought me to the realization that it would. As I sat their in my wheelchair next to the front row I truly listened to the lyrics of the song; certain lines of the song hit my like body blows and snapped me into a better frame of mind. Lines such as "I will lift you from all your fear", " I am hoe for all who are hopeless", "do not be afraid I am with you", "I will bring you home", and the entire last 2 stanzas of the song all spoke to me in a really personal way. The meaning of this song was summed up for me in the last line of the song, God Embraces all my pain, and he wants me to stand up, walk, and live. All of these commissioning by Jesus were like commands for me to never give up in my efforts for rehabilitation. What an awesome message. I had just received Jesus in the Eucharist and now he was speaking to me in the most personal way that I can recall before or since my illness.
As I said earlier in this post I wanted Mary to hide me out at home and not bring me back to the hospital. After my experience at mass I thought differently about this. I still wanted to go home for a visit. I wanted to see the familiar sights of my house and the kids rooms and our refrigerator magnets! this visit was important for me, during this visit I realized that I didn't want to live in a wheelchair forever. I realized that I wanted to walk from room to room at our house. I wanted Mary to check me back into the hospital, so that I could get better and do what Jesus had just commanded me to do through the singing of the choir at mass. I went back to the hospital and was an ideal patient from that point on. I tried to do everything in my power to get better. I eventually did. It was like the healing of the paralytic in Luke's gospel where he commanded me to rise take my mat and walk. But I looked at everyday with that zeal and ambition. I was visited by St. Pio during my coma, however it was this moment that I started to take seriously the work that I had to do to walk again on my own. Well, not on my own, for I know that Jesus is walking every step with me even today, and I look forward to walking with Jesus for the rest of my life.

one more thing from me

I did't mention in my rant earlier this morning, but I am extremely proud to be living in a country that has a peaceful means of transmitting power from one president to the next!

Hodge Podge

Last week I gave the girls more school work than they could possibly finish. And in the end they did not finish it all. What I wanted to see was just how much could they do with constant supervision and support. I now feel as if I have a baseline of how they can perform under "normal" conditions. Now the goal is to realistically set the goal to increase their output while at the same time retaining the information that they have learned. With that being the case, the lesson plan for this week and next will be toned down a little bit. I think that I not only overloaded them, but in the end I overloaded myself. I truly had a very difficult time keeping up with the pace that I had them on. So, it's still a work in progress. I'll keep ya posted.

I titled this post "Hodge Podge" because that is what's going on in my head. It is a hodge podge of ideas and topics that are jumbling up my mind. Home school, marriage, morality, prayer, catechism(both personal and my teaching it to my kids as well as the 9th grade at church), Inauguration, MLK day.... All of this in my head is probably the cause of my huge headache. So, I will attempt to get some of it out.

Marriage news: This is not exactly a news flash but I love my wife! She is my compass and my thermometer. And she is good at being both of those and so much more.

Morality and the rest of my RSI classes: I am in the middle of my school year and am just starting to think of writing my final papers that are due in April. I pray that I not procrastinate as usual. I do have a smaller paper due in my morality class that is due in a few weeks, so I will get that done and then I can focus on these final papers. We do have a retreat this coming weekend where we will visit the St Josephs abbey and seminary college in Covington LA. I am looking forward to that one.

Inauguration and MLK day: I am at a point in my life and faith where I can appreciate the meaning behind Martin Luther King Jr day. It is not just a day off of school or work anymore. It is a celebration of a civil rights leader who was slain for speaking out. This reminds me of another great role model, Jesus. He confronted the Sanhedrin, pharisees, sagucees and pretty much anyone else who held some power and spoke up for the less fortunate, the anawim of the time. We all know how he was put to death.

Now, I would never say that MLK is on this same level, and I am fairly certain that he(mlk) would not want me to either. However Their lives and deaths do bare a similarity in that certain way.

All of this seems to culminate in the inauguration that will happen in a few hours from now of the nations first African-American President. I judge that I don't fully understand the significance of this historical moment in our country's history, mainly because I am white and didn't feel first hand the prejudice against people of color in this country. At least that is the lessons I have learned from all the media coverage this weekend. CBS, NBC, CNN, in fact every media outlet in the country has made this inauguration solely about race. I am not sure from the feel good pieces they have been running if the country is gonna really do well because of our new president. The fact that he is not white will be a big story for a couple of weeks, however I think that the substance of the presidency transcends the individual who is president, he still has to do the job, at least for 4 years, if he wants to get rehired. I heard this weekend on one of those feel good stories where someone equated the Obama election to a courtship. and that is how I like to think of it as well. It fits into the way that I see marriage. They said that the election was like the engagement, where thinking about the future is limitless and everything is fun and feels good. Everyone wants to see the engagement ring and pat your back and say congratulations. The inauguration is like the wedding day. The wedding is only 1 day, and the celebration is fun and there are always cheers and dancing... The tough part is the marriage. that is everyday after the wedding. And this is the true test that we all must either pass or fail. This is not easy, the engagement and wedding stages give us a sometimes false sense of confidence that marriage will be easy. We all know that it is not, especially those of us who have been married, whether it has failed or is still a work in progress.
So today's inauguration is like the wedding, everything will look good and impressive today. the tough part will start tomorrow. President Obama will take off the training wheels and pilot the ship as president. The future is bright and I pray that he will succeed and do a great job for our country. Just like I prayed for Bush, Clinton, Reagan, etc...I may not always agree with his plans, but he was elected by the country and now I just pray that he always has the best interest of our country in mind in all decisions and not just the best interest of any particular group or lobbyist firm.

a full slate

That's what this week will be, a full slate. I took extra time to get the girls lesson plans done and I loaded them down. I gave them more to do than will get done. I am trying to motivate them to overachieve. I am mean. At least that is what they tell me. But I am sure that one day they will thank me for pushing them for making them to do more than what they think they can do. I had several teachers in my life that motivated me to keep pushing and always reach for the top! I would list them, but I know that I would leave someone off. I would like to thank each of these teachers from junior high school and high school for giving me permission to be the best student and person that I could be. I have thanked a few of them in person when the chance has arisen.

Now back to my kids. They have had various life lessons about keeping your head above water, doing your best in all situations and beating the odds. I like to think that I have been a good role model for all of these things. Elizabeth and Emma are old enough to remember the time when I was sick, in a wheel chair and couldn't walk or talk. They have seen me at this point and they saw all of the hard work that I had to do to be the person I am today. They along with Mary saw all of the doubts, shame, and fear that I had to overcome from the state that illness had put me in. I am positive that the lessons I learned from my teachers and lessons that I learned in Church about the life of Jesus combined to give me the motivation to get out of my hospital bed and walk again.
This brings me to this week. I realized that I have to be the kind of home school teacher that instills this motivation to always do better. I pray that I can do this for them. I pray that all teachers, whether home school, public or private schools, guide and teach their students not only the subjects they teach but to give them a legacy for achievement that goes beyond the school book and shows them a good way to live their lives.

I am thankful for the teachers that have done this for me. Are you? And now, most of all, I want my kids, my students to look at me this way someday.

i was ineterviewed on a podcast

This will be short and sweet.

I was interviewed on a friends podcast. It is ready to download on your mp3 player or can be listened to online at www.theeverydaycatholic.com

in it we discuss home schooling and a visit I had from someone during my coma.

God Bless all of you,

Steve

back to school

Yesterday was our first day back to school for 2009. I did not have my lesson plans ready to go. So the morning was spent doing lesson plans while the kids awaited their new assignments. I got Emma and Elanis done and they got to work on them. It was promising and I started to feel really good about the new year. Then the afternoon came and we had to run an errand or two. That totally fouled up our school day. after leaving the house for about an hour and a half we got back home and you would have though the dismissal bell had rung. To be fair, Emma did do some more of her schoolwork last night, like it was homework, which we have not had since the public school days last year.

Today, the older girls have a 4H meeting, which usually means that I get very little production from the for school work. This will give me an opportunity to focus on Elani's schooling as she is not yet old enoug to officially be involed in 4H. She is making her first Reconciliation this Saturday. I am so proud that she is taking this sacrament so seriously. I am going to work with her today with the nuts andbolts of going to confession. We will discuss and do an examination of conscience and an act of contrition.

why do i do what I do?

I want to blog about a few things, but it is almost midnight and I am exhausted. So, I will spare you all.

So far the New Years has been going OK, but we start back to school and routines tomorrow. I pray that it goes as smoothly and efficiently as the girls need it to go in order for this home schooling experience to be all it can be for them. I don't school them for my benefit. I truly think that this is more detremental to my personal psyche than working a full time job outside of the home. But I believe that this is a chance for the girls to learn values and life skills in a way they probably never could in a school with teachers who also have to interact with 100-200 other kids a day. I am in no way saying that teachers in school systems are harmful to kids. I wish these people could be some of the highest paid individuals in the world, they do the most important job in the world. They educate the vast majority of kids. So, if you are a teacher please know that you are appreciated.

with that being said. I wish i was a better home school teacher for the girls...

Happy New Month??

It is New Years day 2009! The first day of a new year is always so optimistic. I have a whole year to do... something. Maybe we should celebrate every new month in the same way. I know that I would be much more productive with only 30 or 31 days to accomplish something, but February would be a tough cookie(28 days). Take your standard new years resolution. Lets say, hypothetically, that I wanted to lose 50 pounds this year... wait, this doesn't sound do hypothetical!! If I break that resolution into months of which there are 12, I would only resolve to lose 4.16 pounds a month, starting with month 1. If I didn't achieve the needed 4.16 pounds then the next month I could adjust my resolution or goal. Or if I overachieved and managed to lose say, about 8 pounds in the 1st month I would then only need to lose something like 2.5 pounds per month over the next 11 months.

Anyway, I don't wanna run on about this. Tomorrow we are going hiking as a family in Tunica Hills. As I recall the last time I did that my words as we reached our vehicle in the parking lot was something like " I will never do this again". well, never say never! I will stay positive about this. The last time I went it was in June and was 93 degrees and humid. Tomorrow should be 72 and not humid. It should be a pleasant time and good exercise. And it will be great to trudge around in Gods creation with the family.